Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! DadadumdumdudmDummmmmm!
My hip is not really painful, a little swollen, still very weak and both legs have blood clots. What ?? The drama does not end for me. So I was put on rest… and no more PT for a couple of days. And got very depressed and down right scared. Could I please just stop having things that could kill me?
The mind is a awesomely powerful tool that can either defeat you or lift you up. “If you think you can or you think you can’t; you are right.” The mental games that occur while you are going through this are brutal. In addition to this, I am often alone when I receive startling news. I try to cope. I pray, that helps, I take medications, that helps… but what I really need is my husband and my family. Coach (my hubby-as he will from this point be referred as) keeps me going, keeps me focused, calms me down- well he loves me like nobody else can. I am more than grateful for that. He truly is heaven-sent. My kids, their tinkling laughter, which is practically constant, invades my psyche and breaks up the fear and depression. I needed to go home. I know that the rehab was growing my strength, but it was damaging my spirit. And my spirit is deeply needed to get through this transplant.
So we are making plans to get me to Milton (home) on Tuesday. YAY!!
The final measurement…. is that my left leg in about 3 inches shorter than my left. A stiletto heel should work nicely to even that discrepancy, wouldn’t you think? I got a very sexy shoe lift instead though. Wouldn’t want you to all be jealous now would I?
So, I have a steroid puffy face, crazy short hair, I live in yoga pants and over sized tshirts. I am seriously ill. And people are so gosh darn courteous to me. Especially when I am in my wheelchair. “Can I get that for you? Do you need help? Don’t worry about the change, I’ll pay for it. ” Lots of doors are held open for me, people get off the elevator and let me in instead!
So I move, that instead of women wearing stilettos and tight dresses, you really just need to get a wheelchair and some LuLaRoe tights. I’ve done a little of both, and I can say that the tights are much more comfortable than a tight dress. Now- losing your hip, I may have taken that a bit to the extreme. Anything for a little attention I guess.
And the countdown starts….
I have started my preconditioning for the transplant. It is a chemo, that makes me feel a little lousy and run a fever. I’m hoping that he symptoms will lessen with time (I’m told that they will). I’m two treatments in, two more to go. And for the first time since Christmas (probably earlier), I went out on my own today (minus the driver). I got myself to the bathroom, in and out of my wheelchair, got myself lunch. Never take that stuff for granted, you never know when you might lose that freedom.