220, 221 whatever it takes

One of my favorite movies of all time is Mr. Mom. Have you seen it? A classic. Released in 1983, it is a role reversal plot with a warm family feel. An executive at a car factory (Michael Keaton) looses his job and becomes a stay-at-home Dad while his wife (Teri Garr) goes out to earn a paycheck (and a big one at that). Of course Keaton’s character gets a life’s lesson in how hard it is to be a SAHM. Innovative for the time, the movie is packed with classic stereotypes and problems. Of course Keaton’s “manhood” is put to test by Garr’s very successful boss, Ron Richardson (Martin Mull).

The scene that gets me every time is when Martin visits Keaton’s home for the first time. Martin pulls up in a limo to pick up Garr. Keaton races around to do a “manly” job: home construction, as opposed to feeding the kids.

“Whatever it takes.”

For those of you not savvy on home improvement details, 221 is not a voltage. Keaton has no idea what he is talking about.

He is fixated on a number. A number that is suppose to make him feel better, look better to others, seem smarter, more accepted in his current role, but really it’s just that- a number. Yes it is an alphanumeric representation of said voltage, but what does it really mean? Does it make him a better person? In fact, it could be argued that it does the exact opposite. Keaton is not more manly for wiring the house with 221 voltage.

This scene comes into my mind a lot when I’m trying to lose weight. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a bit of scale anxiety. But it is not the number so much as what it represents in our society. The lower the number, the better and more beautiful the woman. It really is just a number. A lower number doesn’t mean I’m happier, prettier, more accepted and a higher number does not mean the opposite. Then how come there is a rush when the number is lower? Today’s number was below 150. The first time since before HLH.

I cannot say that I am not a little proud. But it is different this time. I feel in harmony with my body for the first time in YEARS. I mean really in harmony. This body has gotten me through SO STINKING MUCH. It gave me love, babies, pleasure, endurance, survival, hope. It is miraculous in healing. Seriously- think about it. I walked without a hip. My bones are regrettably a hot mess from treatment. I am literally half of another person. I made 3 other humans inside of it! I have lived with chronic pain (even before HLH). Life has robbed my body of an easy path, but my body has forgave it. It keeps giving. I feel now I am giving something back.

I feel many ailments that people experience, weight gain, constipation, insomnia, blemishes, the list goes on and on, are a body’s cry for help. It just doesn’t have the tools it needs to do what you are wanting from it.

“But I used to _______(fill in the blank with all the things you’ve done)____________” and that is/has worked fine.” I am so glad that you are finding things that work! I know how frustrating it is when things do not. But I’m not just talking about a fix for now. I’m talking about a plan for life. I’m talking about a real partnership with health. A journey with health.

Whatever it takes.

A long time ago- teenage me.
before transplant after a buttload of chemo and steroids.
feeling more like myself-
determined- using exercise and living as clean as possible….
the journey continues

One Reply to “220, 221 whatever it takes”

  1. I love this post! I have been trying to lose weight after my COVID battle. I lost 12 pounds while sick then QUICKLY gained it back. I have never been motivated by the number on the scale either. I have lost 11 pounds since June 1st using the WW app and tracking my food choices. My goal is to eat to have the fuel to get through the day. So far, it is working well for me. Your thoughts on what our weight number says about us rings so true to me!


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