Missing Piece

I am a protagonist. I know, you feel like you already know that about me. That’s not what I am talking about, I am a ENFJ. As posted on the Myers-Briggs website:

ENFJ is the abbreviation for extraversion, intuition, feeling, and judgment.

Extraversion: ENFJ’s are motivated by interacting with people. They’re sociable and generally have a wide circle of acquaintances. Social events energize the ENFJ personality type. ENFJ’s listen to others before making decisions and enjoy the approval of others.

Intuition: ENFJ’s focus on the big picture and future possibilities; they tend to pay less attention to detail and the current situation. ENFJ personality types are creative and abstract thinkers.

Feeling: ENFJ’s take into account personal considerations and the feelings of others before making decisions. ENFJ personality types attach importance to the social implications when making a decision, instead of using cold logic.

Judgment: ENFJ’s are planners and quick decision-makers. The ENFJ personality type likes predictability so that they can plan and control situations.

ENFJ personality types are extroverted and sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. The dominant characteristic of the ENFJ personality type is their genuine desire to make the world a better place. ENFJ’s look for harmony in relationships and broader social groups. When ENFJ’s claim that they’re tough-minded and logical you can bet it’s because those are the values of their environment. Sharing the values of their social group creates the harmony that the ENFJ personality type craves in all situations. ENFJ’s are warm and charming; they’re also charismatic and can be very talkative. They excel in the social arena, and people love to be in the company of ENFJ personality types because they’re fun and have a good sense of humor. ENFJ’s are excellent leaders.

Yep, sounds like me. And sounds like I’m a pretty nice person to be with.


ENFJ’s Weaknesses

ENFJ’s can be rigid and unbending. The ENFJ personality type is idealistic and struggles to understand why others may have different ideas.

ENFJ’s may be oversensitive and so hard on themselves that they don’t function at their best. ENFJ personality types blame themselves when things go wrong, and can dwell on the negative for too long.

ENFJ’s are insecure about their appearance and presence, even though they are supremely confident public speakers. ENFJ personality types can get despondent when criticized.

ENFJ’s can be indecisive because they want consensus and harmony. ENFJ personality types struggle to decide if even a minority of people disagree with them.

ENFJ’s may be manipulative. ENFJ personality types want the total support of their group and will sometimes manipulate the nay-sayers into embracing their beliefs. (oooooo)

ENFJ’s are demanding. ENFJ personality types are committed and loyal, and demand that others are too. Also, ENFJ’s are intolerant of mistakes and shortcomings. (Ouch)

ENFJ’s can be overprotective and smothering. The ENFJ personality type can sometimes care too much about others and overdo helping and nurturing them.

ENFJ’s can sacrifice their well-being in pursuit of improving the lives of others. The selfless ENFJ personality type can lead them to neglect their own mental and physical health.

Uh, yep. That is me too. But apparently, I have something missing in my personality. INFP can fulfill this.

The INFP personality type is often described as an “idealist” or “mediator” personality. People with this kind of personality tend to be introverted, idealistic, creative and driven by high values. Well, that doesn’t sound all bad. But it sure is different than me.

In all, there are 16 different types of personalities.

Some introverted, some extroverted. Some more resistant to change, some embracing change. Some leaders, some prefer to be led. Priorities are different. Needs are different. What each one does is different. And, less noted, but nonetheless true, you can change types.

I probably haven’t told you anything that you don’t know. But what I am seeing in society today is that we don’t view those who don’t share our views as someone who fills in our missing pieces. Instead, we are partitioned into democrat/ republican, liberal/conservative, us/them. While I do see people trying to say that they see your viewpoint, but then telling you it’s wrong.

I suppose most of my followers are the choir that I am preaching to, but I still think it is worth saying, even for myself to hear. Next time, you don’t agree with someone, what are they prioritizing that you are not? How has their life shaped their personality? What pieces are missing?

Just in case you want to find out: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

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