Birthday Suit

I don’t know about you, but my news feed in inundated with spam about better fitting bras, leggings and clothing. Obviously, you can then tell that my search history is about something similar. I am amazed at companies that claim to be able to tuck, lift and sculpt your body into something smooth and youthful. However, upon further examination, each company has a completely different way to judge your size. Some ask you questions about your favorite brands, how do you like their fit? Some ask how your current clothes are fitting. Where are things too loose, too tight? Some ask for measurements assuming that you know how to take them. Then there are those that skip all that and just go for the small, medium and large, x-large, xx-large or larger. Forgetting that the industry standard is slanted towards those who have not had children, lack curves in general or are pre-pubescent. Admittedly it has improved. Let us also not forget that many of the more online economical companies are based in Asia, where let’s face it, at least stereotypically women are smaller framed. So you will find within my underwear drawer bras that are medium all the way to XL ( and I’m really not sure who those XL’s were made for because they won’t cover my elbow).

All of this in the effort to be more comfortable.

All ladies have one. That bra that is so faded and stretched out it has evolved into the perfect size for you. The remnants of the tag are frayed and translucent. You no longer remember where or exactly when you got it, heaven help you find another one. You wonder why you haven’t thrown it away, but you just cannot bring yourself to part with it. It may ride up a little. But it doesn’t pinch. The elastic no longer has any bounce to it, but it is your second skin. Tough day ahead? You grab it. Long trip? That’s the one you reach for. It works under many of your dresses, all of your t-shirts…. but please dear Lord, don’t let me be in a car accident because my mother would be horrified (and I may be too) if someone saw how “dirty” it was!! Like a child with a pacifier, you are relaxed just in its presence.

You are comfortable.

Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt that comfortable in your body? Have you ever felt that comfortable in your body?

Let me confess something. I’m not sure I ever have. I have been 5’8″ 125#, I have been 5’8″ 220# (not pregnant). I have been ill, well, pregnant, menopausal, cut on, tore up, athletic, bed ridden. I have been through a lot. My body has been through a lot, but I still struggle to accept it. I respect it, but I do not accept it. Wow. That is something else to actually see in print. What is stopping me? Dare I also ask, what is stopping you?

I have traversed many hills and valleys in my short, un-impactful life. Un-impactful meaning I have not started a world renown company or been the president. No one will remember my name (as beautiful and unique as it is). I am very happy my life turned out more than tragic. I am living the life that the Lord wants for me and I am through tormenting my lifelong partner: my body. It deserves better.

Does that mean I will stop wanting to change it? No. Certainly not. I don’t think change negates acceptance. I could argue that change promotes acceptance. I will stop looking at my scars with discomfort. Stop looking at my drooping breasts with disdain. Stop looking at my full abdomen with contempt. I will respect and accept where I am on the path right now. A path. A journey. It is not over. Will you come with me?

I started Plexus not looking to change my body. I looked to Plexus to help my body. To heal my body. To support my body. If there is one thing I feel that I know now, is that your body is a miracle. A miracle that we are far from fully understanding. I was bed ridden. Wheel chair bound. All but dead. I was left with scars, artificial replacements, my genetic profile is half-male, I have left-over metal parts inside me, I have taken medications meant to kill a part of me in order to save the rest. My story sounds like a telenovela. My body the main character. Will she live or won’t she?

If I can do this, so can you. I am not promising miracles, that’s not my job. What I will do for you is support, guide, listen and give it to you straight. Think about it. And get back to me. And while I thought posting a picture of me in my birthday suit was a bit much…. here’s a no make up shot.

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